if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
