One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
