We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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