he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
