Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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