Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
