i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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