my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
