we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
