I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
