I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
