I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The Olympian is in my bed
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
