Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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