So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
