I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We need to rekindle our bromance
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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