So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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