well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
