$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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