so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This house was built for laser tag.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
