the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
