There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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