i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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