so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
