Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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