im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
