can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
