Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
