So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
