it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
