If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Randomize
