I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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