i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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