sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
