oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
