'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
