Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize