dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My ass is underappreciated
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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