You work out of a Hotel?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
