Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My vagina just clenched in fear
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