Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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