so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
