the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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