the condom got lost in my hair
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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