great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
