You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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