I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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