***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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