Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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