M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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