Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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