And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
