Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
