i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
