so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize