I hope mine doesn't look like that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
