Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize