Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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