So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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