Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
