I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
