Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
